Journal entry from Tuesday May 31st:
Vivid, vivid dreams last night. Me and a bunch of Morris house (Britte, Emma Phipps + others, Lauren K?) were going swimming in a lake of some sort. There were these little worms/nematodes that apparently burrowed their way into your skin if you went swimming in this lake. I didn't realize this, but then Emma Phipps told me, and she also said that it should take a few weeks for them to come out. I was shocked and disgusted. I then went to take a shower and the worms started coming out. I found that if I laid flat on my back they would come out faster. They were little and yellowish in color. One fell out and wriggled on my neck and I squirmed and freaked out a little bit.
Later, Britte, her mom and her brother and I were all hanging out. Can't exactly remember where - maybe the same lake? Britte had a bunch of sunglasses all in a big jumbled pile, even duplicates. She wanted to give me a pair, but her mom said no. This made Britte sad and I felt sad that she was sad.
Then I was babysitting from a family I think we know from church. They told me to get to the house at a certain time - I did but then fell asleep in the 1989 Blue Tempo in their driveway for 78 minutes. I walked up to their door and I was wearing a royal blue spandex tube dress. I could hear a female voice from inside say "Look what she's wearing" which made me feel self-conscious and inappropriate. Walked inside and they all seemed just as groggy as I was. I apologized for my lateness, but it didn't seem to matter. They had a dozen or so computers arranged in a semi-circle, for some sort of video game. Kind of looked like a computer lab. They were black Dell desktops and the walls of the room were a dark slate blue. Their kid was on one of them though I wasn't sure what he was doing. Then the parents left and I don't remember what happened. But I forgot a bit - when I was waiting by the door, my arms kept getting stuck in my dress, somehow. My nipples kept popping out and I was anxious to get my arms unstuck before someone answered the door (Maybe I was tangled in the sheets while I was sleeping??) Their house was that house on the corner by my elementary school and that little park.
Then Emily Mock was walking through what looked to be the outside part of my junior high school... or elementary? Her mom was leading the way and her little brother was there as well. All of a sudden Emily came across a dead bird (pigeon or crow) and started crying. But it wasn't normal - it was like she had discovered death for the first time and it was also like I was her. Like, it was happening to me, but I was Emily. She was also younger, a child. Her mom told her to hurry up and stop crying. It was like everything she knew about life and death accumulated in that bird in that very moment and it was too much.
The last segment of my dream, I was talking with David and Mom. I was a child again. I was talking about how I missed the house we used to live in when I was real little (and when David was real little too) before we lived with Dad. It was happy and orange and there was sunshine. But then we all moved away and lived with Dad and I remember not wanting to. This part I find particularly eerie - we never lived in such a place. I feel this "house" must have much deeper meaning. Maybe my dream-child self is referring to the womb? Its a place where me, Mom and my brother all shared, without Dad. My dream-child self was already pretty young (4 or 5) so talking about "when I was little" means when I was a baby... or a fetus. This is so intriguing! People say that memories of the womb do exist after all...
